so anyway, i was thinking. i really am pretty awesome. and when you stop to think about it, you’ll start to realize it as well. feel free to makes some posts about how awesome i am. if you don’t believe me, just ask my dogs. they love me. and my bird is practically surgically attached to my shoulder. whenever i leave the room, they all follow me. which has lead me to my conclusion: i’m awesome. now, i’ve found too, with humans this is sometimes the case. whenever we are talking in one place, and i stop talking and move to another room, people usually come to follow me. it’s really interesting. i propose that everyone here tries the following experiement and report back how it goes:
get a group (preferably 3 or more, but if you only have one or two friends, this might be difficult for you - strangers will work in a bind, but make sure they aren’t bound, cause that might affect the results of the experiment). once you have your group, stand around talking to them. this conversation is best served if you are talking about me, but any subject will do i suppose. the thing about the conversation is: it must last long enough for you to abruptly stop talking, and leave the room - once you have left the room, you need to be able to resume the conversation exactly where you left off. but don’t start talking again until everyone has followed you to the new place. there might be some questions as to why you did that, but do your best to ignore those questions and just go right back into the subject at hand. if you absolutely must explain yourself (maybe one of the bums you picked up off the street for the experiment is starting to get testy, or sober) then just say it was an experiment and they can have their borrowed tissue back after the conversation is finished.
now, if you’re as awesome as i am, you’ll be able to do this two or more times before ending the conversation. if you fail on the first attempt, one or more of the following things could be wrong:
1. you’re a loser.
2. you chose a poor subject of conversation
3. you chose poor research subjects
4. you weren’t wearing the right shoes
5. your friends really didn’t care about you or the subject
these reasons are why it’s so important to do some research on your own before you just go off and do this highly sensitive experiment. now really, if you have the confidence that you are as awesome as i, then you don’t need to do any pre-experiement research. but chances are, all hopes of being as awesome as i am will be dashed by trying this experiement.
now don’t get discouraged. the answer may be as simple as getting new friends. this experiment works best with people who are less cool than you, but still cool enough to be your friends. chances are they are so desperate to be your friend, that they will do any weird or crazy thing you suggest - generally, this fact is not to be used for evil, but on occasion, if it’s entertaining or fun, it’s ok. so if this is not the case for these research subjects, then go out and start making some new friends - this is easy, just be awesome.
false positives: there are ways to cheat. i’m not going to outline them completely (rope, chains, duct tape, tractor beam) but the main thing to keep in mind is this: do not try this experiment on the same people more than once. this is bad for 2 reason: they might think you’re crazy, and they will already know what’s up.
so - as soon as you can do this experiment flawlessly, email me - or post your results here. we can then meet in person for a dual of awesomeness.
good luck!